What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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