i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
