lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
