are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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