do herpes really smell.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
