BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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