Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
