i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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