I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
