I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
