Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
