sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
