Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
