I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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