Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He better not be in your backpack
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
