I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
