Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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