I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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