Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
