Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
