Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
