He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
