I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
