I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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