i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
