i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My penis needs a shock collar
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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