I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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