I feel great
I just peed on a car
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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