Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
