Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
