Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
