im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
