we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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