seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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