It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
