Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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