ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
