So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's rum buckets o'clock
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
