Screwed.edu
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
3 2 1 whiskey
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
