She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
