He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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