I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
