He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
