remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
