Having a random hookup so left but love u
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
