IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
