to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
