Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
