There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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