youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i came on her dog
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
